Things:)

There is nothing better than sitting in the beauty of God's creation and watching your children soak it up while joyfully guiding each other around! I love it and I love them--so very much! These last few weeks have been rough on us all! Kindergarten has been a transition and a half to say the least! Riley is exhausted, feels like she is missing out on things at home; Luke is missing his best friend and playmate and isn't sure why she is gone ALL day! Luke has started preschool and seems to do OK although he isn't speaking to his teachers--hehe! I love him! But despite the emotional turmoil, God teaches! He teaches each day, each hour, each moment but only if we listen and allow Him to teach!
When I was pregnant with these two beautiful creatures I pleaded--and I mean pleaded through soaked eyes and horrible belly aches for them to be OK! For Him to please not make me go through losing another child as I didn't think I could make it through again! Each appointment was filled with anxiety and each sonogram made me physically ill until I would hear those words, "everything looks great"!!! My body and heart would rest yet only for awhile until the anxiety creeped in again! You know, I was never fully convinced that they were OK until they were each in my arms! Today Riley is 5 and Luke is 3 and I am still not convinced that they are OK or will be OK! Why??? Because although we have chosen to praise God in this storm and allow Him to use us for others, we have to DAILY and I did say, DAILY give the fear of losing our children to God! This is not a fear or anxiety that is just going to magically disappear--it is a fear that we must continually be on our knees about! Truly, its about giving my children over to God, its about trusting their lives to Him although in my human self, I and I emphasize I want to be in control of their lives to protect THEM from harm, to protect ME from harm or the possibility of losing them and feeling that pain double! In no way do I want to go through that again and yet I know God's plans are much greater than the ones in my silly brain and I know that His plans are ONLY ONLY ONLY to prosper and not to harm!
Thank you Jesus for being patient with me, with us, as we walk this journey you have chosen for us! And I thank you for Cicely's life and death and all that her short life has taught us and many more! We know that her life had and has a purpose and so for that time I carried her here on this earth, the time that we were able to feel those hiccups and kicks, were for incredible reasons only known to God!! Thank you God for the plans you have for us!