PSYCHED!!!

So, March 13 2003--that date is always on my brain! The day that our sweet Cicely Grace was born still, was born into the arms of our Lord, was born into heaven, was etched into our hearts forever!! For a long time I pleaded with God to know the "why" behind all our pain, our heartache, a life that WE didn't plan! But, He has showed me and continues to show me that we are not in charge of the "why" and may never know the answer to that question!

However, He has been gracious with this stubborn human in teaching me that I shouldn't be asking "why" but "what"! We are on this earth for God, for His purposes and to further His kingdom right? We are to bring others to Him and to glorify His name through our lives! I believe there are many "whats" in terms of what He wants us to do with our pain, with Cicely's life and death! One of those "whats" is getting closer to becoming a reality and for that I am so very grateful! The parts of my heart that constantly ache have had some excited and anticipation feelings in them! I think my heart can finally say--after 6 years--that its going to use that constant ache and maybe have some healing from using it! I think my heart needs a rest don't you?

I posted a couple months ago, actually the week of Cicely's birthday, that I had met with the lawyers about starting a nonprofit ministry in our town to support women and families dealing with stillbirth in our area! Yesterday, I received the paperwork to be signed by me and two of my sweet friends (one of whom lost her sweet boy when he was 10 days old). I walked out of the lawyers office yesterday and just wanted to scream--seriously scream at the top of my lungs--that this was finally moving forward! Once these papers have been signed and returned, I will have ALOT of work to do but it will be work I will be glad to do and find peace in doing! Sweet Grace Ministries is one step closer..........and I am one proud mama of Cicely Grace Dortenzo whose life will hopefully help 100's of lives affected by the pain of losing a child!

Will you join me in praying for this ministry and all the things that need to be accomplished to get moving?? Blessings to you all, Katy

OH--a few of you asked about the name last time! When I speak about, write about, or think about Cicely, I have always said Sweet Cicely Grace! I don't know why I have thought that or said that, its just what I have always called her. I think the innocence of her little life has always brought the word, "sweet" to mind! Obviously, grace is her middle name and its something that is gifted to us by God! Through all our pain, trials, suffering, I know that God's grace is there and has always been there for us--its free--although this life is hard and we lose our children and things change, He does not, His grace does not! If we have faith--we have grace! HOW INCREDIBLE!!! Ephesians 2: 8-10 has always been a fav--For it is by grace that we have been saved, through faith--and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by the works so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Jesus Christ to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do!!!!

I believe that 100%, He knew that Cicely would be conceived and born still! He knew that our life was not going to be a cake walk :), but He knew that we would continually discern His planning and I believe He laid it upon our hearts to begin this ministy to help others in pain and to glorify His name at such a dark time in people's lives!!! Amen!